Friday 8th June

i havent actually done too bad today, considering it was my first day really back to it :-) For breakfast i had one cracker, which i worked out to be only 25 cals. For lunch i hate a tiny bit of chinese chow mein (leftovers), i know this wasnt the best choice but i had people watching :-/ anyway, the amount i had totaled up to about 300 cals. For dinner i ate half a can of tomato soup which was 118 calories. As snacks i had about 300 :-/ so i should really cut these down! That totals up to be 743 cals, but with my 20 mins of dancing, i burned about 80 calories, so altogether had a net of 663 calories today. It could be a lot better, but its better than what ive been on these last few months :) its surprising as well, i mean, i guess normally after that amount the majority would feel hungry. but even though ive had a few months of, that 663 calories was enough to make me feel okay about myself for today. in fact, i actually feel motivated and full of energy :D Tomorrow Dave is taking me out to a posh indian restaurant, obviously i will want to eat there so my plan is to fast up until that meal :) i'll let you know how it goes :) nightt everybody :)

Lily Grace xxx

Thursday 7th June

Man im crap at keeping this up :P anyway im back and im going to try and update a lot more now. Truth is, over the last few months with exams and things, i have been allowing myself to gain a tiny bit, just to get me through the exams. But now they are officially over it is time to get back on my diet and lose all this flab ready for my 3 weeks in California! thats right, i cant fucking wait :D i go on the 6th August and aim to be 90ibs by then, but thats quite a tough goal, since im about 115 right now :-/. what will help me though is ive got a new fella :) i split with my ex a few months ago, it needed doing, i really didnt love him anymore. me and dimitri also cut things off, it was never going to work, despite how much i wanted it to. But right now im with someone i never thought i would be :) i met Dave two years ago at work and we were always mates but we've got closer recently and decided to see how things go :-) anyway, like i said, this is good for my anorexia because its a clean start, he doesnt suspect anything, and he is a chef and eats really healthily :) he doesnt make me eat as much as ritesh did but anything he does want me to eat isnt full of fat :) tis all good right now :D anyways i'll update more and try keep you posted :)
Lily Grace xxx