I dont know how many people will ever read this, my aim is to give a deeper understanding to anorexia. Not the facts that everyone knows, but how it actually feels to live with a disorder like this. This is my story, my life, nothing more, simple.
My name is Lily, well actually it isnt, Lily is my nickname but im using it because i feel better than saying my real name. i am 16 yeas old and i have been anorexic for about 9 months. Well you cant really put a date on when you become anorexic, but January 5th 2011 was the day i started my written diary, more or less the start of this rollercoaster ride.
i lived a good life, done amazingly well at school, straight A's in my gcse's, always had a stable family life. but then, its those of us who seem to be the happiest that becomes a target for Ana. She can hide herself deep inside you because noone would think to look for her in you. everyoen presumes your happy. my other nickname is the "smiler", if only they knew.
im not going to dwell on whats happened these last few months. in this post i will give you my stats, weight and target weight etc, and then from tomorrow onwards i'll give daily updates on what ive done each day, thats how you will get an understanding.
So basically my:
height- 5'8
Current weight- 8 st 5 (119ibs)
highest weight- 9st 13 (139ibs)
Goal weight- 6st (84ibs)
today i ate 1089 calories (an incredibly bad day) and i burned 475, giving me a new of 614 calories. i could do so much better. i try stick to 800 cals max. we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
im going to get some rest now, besides lack of sleep stimiulate appetite the next day :/
night guys
Lily xxxxxxx
"Stay strong, starve on"
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