well its been a fair few months since ive been on here. things are changing, getting tougher yet better at the same time. i was sick just after christmas and was in hospital. it wasnt anorexia related, it was like meningitis but not menigitis, if you get what i mean, it was the same kinda thing. Anyway since then my mum has become proper obsessed about making me healthy, i dont think she has twigged, but when i was sick she kept commenting on how thin i was looking. Now she is obsessed with what vitamins and supplements im taking. Honestly im on cod liver oil tablets, zinc tablets, vitamin c tablets and this health drink which is disgusting but is like 95% iron :/ thats the other thing, im on the iron because she is blaming the tiredness on "a slight touch of anaemia" and not on the fact that im only consuming a maximum of 800 calories a day and that im exercising constantly.
i hope you dont mind but id quite like to talk about other parts of my personal life as well on here, i know you dont really know much about me, except im anorexic, please feel free to stop reading if you get bored :P
ive been with my boyfriend for a year now, at first we were happy, my anorexia was more or less under control, well it wasnt, but it wasnt as bad as it is now...anyway, i went on holiday to Jamaica back in summer with my family. nd i gotta say, that place truly is probably the best on the planet. for two weeks all my problems went away, as the Jamaican saying goes; "here there is no problems,only situations". the people i met there will have influenced me for life, but especcially one guy. Dimitri <3. he was working in the hotel and cutting a long story short, we became quite close. being around Dimitri was the happiest care free moments i think i have ever had, nothing mattered anymore. So when i left i was gutted, and sure enough when i was back all the problems came back. Since then ive been speaking to Dimitri on skype, and i still gotta say that even online, he can make me smile so much, even just a minute or two talking to him can make my whole day better. i know this is awfl to my boyfriend, (and i hasten to add, i have fallen out of love with but cant break p with him just yet for loadsss of personal and family issues on his side,) but i have fallen in love with Dimitri, well and trly in love. i told him on tuesday night, nd i know he loves me too. why is it the man of my dreams has to be so far away? anyway enough waffle, truth is i dont know what to do about him. i love him with all my heart, and i know he can help me with my anorexia, everything is perfect when he is around, i jst need to leave my current guy first i guess.
if youve got this far down then thanks for reading, im sorry the focus hasnt been quite as much on the anorexia tonight. i'll try update again soon :)
Lily Grace xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment